Back story: My girlfriend and I inherited my father’s old fake Christmas tree. (Yes I’m Jewish, no she’s not, yes we have a tree in the house, no this is not that post. Focus.) He got this thing when I was in middle school, but it still stands up. At some point he decided it would be a great idea to wrap a string of colored lights around the spine (I hesitate to call it a trunk…) so it lit from the inside once it was decorated. It didn’t look that bad. We happen to have less decorations and tinsel to wrap around the tree so it just sort of looked sad with the lights on the inside. So the tree was already assembled and I wanted to remove that string of lights so we could use it on the outside.